B...L...O...G...G...I...N...G... :)

So, okay....

Since winter term of our school year, our language arts teacher, has required his perspectives and AP Lang classes to write blogs. Our requirement was to do 750 words a week, 3 blogs, about 250 words in each blog. It wasn't a bad assignment.

When we first started I absolutely hated it. Like not oh I hate it I don't want to do it, but hate it as in I would rather run into a tree and knock myself out. I have never been the kind of person to tell my true feelings to anyone, I have never been super interested in anything that I've had opinions about it. I just never have. Yeah, I like things and I'm interested in things, but my opinions are mine and they aren't like completely thought out ideas and I just don't have anything to write about them.

The time when I first started blogging the most, well of course I always did it for credit in class, is when I was going through a rough time or change in my life. It wasn't like I was using it as my diary or anything, because that's really lame. I more used it as a way of getting what had been bothering me or what had been on my mind a lot...I used it to get all of that off of my mind. I gave my opinions about it. I never talked about a controversial issue or anything that was a popular topic, but more of what every high school senior was going through at the time. A lot of high schoolers have relationships, homework, college searches, and family problems. I wanted to write about the stuff other high schoolers could relate to. I didn't give advice, but I guess if anyone read this they would know that they aren't the only ones going through hard times or stuff like this...that everyone was going through it. I don't know...

I really did end up liking to blog. It was a good release for me and it made me happier for getting stuff out that I normally kept to myself.

I'm confused..

So for the people that have actually been following my blog...there's probably not many...they would know that Coe was not my first choice for college. I do not have anything wrong with Coe and I do think it's a good school. I'm excited for going there, but they don't seem to be sending me anything. Like yeah, school doesn't start until August, but wouldn't you think they should be sending me at least some information about something? I'm just so confused...

It's a big thing going to college. Especially a so expensive college. I want it to be a really good experience. I'm kind of scared. But I'm kind of excited. I don't know how to feel. I feel as if I had more information then I wouldn't be as iffy about the whole situation. Like I don't know what questions to ask, but ever since I gave them my $200 deposit I haven't heard anything from them besides the day school starts. But, I could have figured that out without them sending me that. I just want help. It's a big decision and I just want to feel good about making the right decision. That would be awesome.

Everyone's pretty much chosen their college. We had our school newspaper come out last friday that said which school every senior is going to. It's pretty exciting to see where people are going to end up. There is some people going to Coe, but not a lot, so I won't have a problem with that. I didn't really find my class very interesting or very nice. There were a lot of clicks and you had to be in a certain click and only hang out with a certain click, and I just didn't like it. I was more of the person that got along with a lot of people and had many friends, but I only had a few really good friends that I could count on.

I'm very skeptical about everything. I can never think anyone is completely honest and everyone will hurt you at least some point in your life. It's kind of a really bad way to think about things. That's kind of what my childhood has taught me, which sucks, but I'm getting past it kind of. I trust a few more people now than I use to and I try not to let things bother me as much. It's really hard sometimes, but I can't be perfect.

So I kind of just realized that I'm writing down random thoughts that pop into my head. I'm pretty happy with my life right now. But, I haven't been letting things get to me, so it's harder to write about some things.

Graduation

I graduate in four days. The ceremony is SO BORING

I've been to them in the past years, but that's okay. I don't have a dress to wear yet, but hopefully I'll find one. I'm excited to graduate. My older sister is going to come for the ceremony and stay for four days. I love seeing her. She's fun, especially because I don't see her very often.

I'm not excited for all of the speeches and the rehearsal. Thursday morning at 9:30, our first day without school, we have to be at the U.S. Cellular Center for rehearsal, which sucks. Then, our graduation is at 7:30. I'm actually going to have people there besides my mom. I think both of my sisters, my dad, and Rj. :) okay...so that's not that many, but I'm use to my family never showing up for stuff because they are too busy, so this is a big deal to me.

Plus, this is one time where my dad shows me he cares about me. Yeah, I hate that I have to do something good for him to like me, but it still feels good that he likes me sometimes.

My Graduation Party

Okay, so one good thing about grad parties are that you get to see your friends and family all in the same place at the same time and they are celebrating your accomplishments. I'm not saying that everything should be all about me, but sometimes it's good for people to be celebrated. EVERYONE should get that feeling.

I haven't had my grad party yet, its next weekend, but I'm excited for it.

Now the bad part....
IT IS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH WORK!!!!!
My mom power washed our house. We're painting it...I'm watching Rj paint it right now...She is painting our kitchen. She took out bushes in the front of our house. She got our retaining wall done. We have one of the dirtiest and most cluttered garage in the world and she's cleaning that out for me. My mom is just amazing by doing this for me. She is so stressed out though. But, after she will be so happy it turned out the way she wanted it to.

For graduation I'm getting a laptop from my mom. I haven't gotten a Christmas or birthday present for about two years. I'm getting a t.v. from my dad. And I'm just excited to see everyone.

My mom's birthday is next saturday and I want to get her something really special to show her how much I appreciate this. I appreciate it SO much. Even my dad is helping....which is a huge surprise. He's helping my mom better her house and that actually makes me happy seeing that because she has had to do so much for us by herself, that its good he's finally helping her out.

I'm excited!! Now I just have to go to the 80 billion other grad parties for everyone else lol

bye bye high school

SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have 2 more days left!!

I'm so excited. I'm so sick of school. For the last two weeks we have barely been doing anything in school, which is a good thing since most people wouldn't want to do anything. But TWO MORE DAYS!!

I've had some really good times in high school, and also some really bad. I've made a lot of friends, and decided who aren't really my true friends. So many of my friends that I was friends with in middle school are not my friends anymore. Middle school was a terrible time in my life. I was in that very awkward stage. I was pretty shy, but also pretty nice. I started middle school not knowing anyone, so I made friends with random people. I just didn't like it.

In high school I grew up a lot. I experienced a lot of different things, I got sick of drama which is involved with a lot of people. I realized what was important to me. I made some life long friends, and it was just a good experience. Yeah, the school part sucked sometimes, but it was so much fun if I look at it overall. I'm kind of scared to go to college and grow up, because things are a lot more easy now, but I'm glad this part of my life is over. It will be a bumpy and good experience to get past high school. I just hope my future works out how I would want it to.

:) PROM :)

Prom was absolutely AMAZING!!!!!!
I normally stay at dances for like 30 minutes and then leave because I'm so bored, but it was really one of the best nights of my life. I had so much fun. I went with the perfect group, with the perfect guy, and I had the perfect dress. I felt like a princess :)

First, I started getting ready at like 10 in the morning. Then, the receptionist at my work did my hair (she has her own salon). It was beautiful! and she sprayed glitter all over my hair and I loved it!

Then, Rj came to pick me up. He had his grandma's car. So basically both mine and Rj's cars are pieces of crap. We definitely both need new ones because ours could break down at any point. His grandma was very nice to let us borrow her car. It was just one of the extra perks Rj did to make my night special. He was absolutely amazing by the way...all he wanted to do was make me happy.

So, after he picked me up we went to his grandma's house to take pictures, then to Elmcrest (my mom is the photographer so she wanted tons of pictures lol), and then to Tiffany's house to take group pictures. I loved our group. It wasn't too big and we had a lot of fun. We had some weird pictures, but I love it. After Tiffany's, Rj and I went to his best friends house. His best friend's mom is like a second mom to Rj, so we were nice and let her take pictures of us.

Grand march was next. We were like the sixth in line, which was sweet because we didn't have to wait around and stand in a huge line. It was fun. Rj looked very handsome. And of course Tiffany had to stand out, she had very bright colored tennis shoes on under her beautiful dress, it was funny. As we were walking Rj's mom yelled "you look beautiful" to me. It was funny.

So, to the dance....
We took group pictures, and hung out, and ate. A lot of people ate at Elmcrest, so it was pretty fun. So the reason I normally leave dances early is because I get bored dancing, but this was SOO different. Rj is the best dancer I've ever had. He pays so much attention to me and just has fun and smiles ALL OF THE TIME!!! I love it. It was so much fun!

After the dance we went to Sonic to get ice cream, where Tiffany decided to take a short ten minute nap, but that's okay it was cute lol. And then we went to post prom. It was also super fun. Normally bowling gets boring after a while, but it didn't. Tiffany won a digital camera and she gave her old one to Rj, which he loves!! I won a 25 dollar gift card to Old Navy. I don't really shop there, but I could probably find something to buy there.

I ended the night by going home with Rj. It was so much fun!! He is so sweet and the perfect date. I'm so happy I never even thought about going with anyone else. Oh yeah...I said before that I had to ask the principals if it was okay if he went...I did and they obviously said yes. But Rj was so happy to be there that he went up to our principal, who he hates, and thanked her for letting him come. It was so adorable and so sweet. I'm so glad we both had such a good time.

ummmmm what?

I basically don't like when people can't say what they actually want to say. Or they do say it, just not to your face. It kinda hurts. Especially if this person is one of your best friends.

Like...should a person really have a problem with me because of who my family is or my boyfriend or my boyfriends family? Like I can't control that...well I can control who my boyfriend is, but he really makes me happy so I'm keeping him. But, really? To my face you can't be like all cool about it and then behind my back....or in my case.....someone's blog....you can't sit there and call me out on it, using my name, and say you have a problem with it. That just kind of hurts.

I don't know...its not that big of a deal, but I just read it so that's why its on my mind right now... Like, really? We have mouths we can talk...I don't know. I've just like tried to be the nicest I can about all these situations. I told her I would be there for her, help her through anything, ask her if things are okay with her before I do it...like I just don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, and that's why I ask. It's not like I'm going to freak out, I ask cuz it's an iffy situation. I don't know...basically its all gay and its bothering me right now, but I'm going to get over it. It's prom tomorrow. It's going to be fun