I Dont Wanna Grow Up!!!!

This past weekend I went to Coe's Admitted Student Weekend thing...

So at it we were able to get a tour, stay the night (although I didn't), go to different sessions that help you learn more about Coe, and get financial aid advice. It was helpful, yeah, and the people were really nice, but all I could think about the whole time is I don't know what to expect out of any of this. It's a scary thought...the whole growing up thing. I'm going to be living on my own...which isn't a big problem for me. But I'm going to have to balance out my schedule to afford all of my bills, go to work, actually study and read my textbooks (which I never had to do to get by in high school, get all of my homework done, maintain a 3.0, still have a social life, and be able to spend as much time I want with my boyfriend.

It all just seems to be hitting me so fast. Like I have to make all of these decisions all at the same time and I know I have to, but it's so rushed and crazy that I don't know what to think half of the time. Or am I really making the right decision?? Coe has an average class size of 12-16 people in the class. That would be half of the class size I'm use to. True...this will get me more individual attention and more help from my professors if I need it. But it's all so stressful and scary that I don't have a choice. I have to grow up right now and decide my future. It's really hard because all up until senior year I knew I would go to college, but I had to make every single life changing decision within the last few months and I don't wanna be making the wrong choice.

Like sometimes I just wish I could wake up and be like ten years older with a good job and all of my decisions already made for me. I want a family when I grow up, and a husband, and a really successful job. But, making all of the decisions to get to that point is so hard!! I wish it was easier but it's definitely not...

People Suck

In previous posts I've blogged about what my future plans for college are... or were... they pretty much have completely changed within the last month. So just to freshen your memory...my plans were to go to the community college, Kirkwood, for two years, then transfer to the university, UNI, to finish off my major in accounting and becoming a C.P.A. Luckily, I'm still pretty set on that major, but maybe thinking about majoring in public relations as well, but I'm not so sure about that one yet.

But.. the reason my entire plan changed is because about a month ago Kirkwood sent me a letter saying that they were cancelling their accounting program for the fall of 2009, basically when I would be starting. They sent me this after they sent me a list of classes I would be taking, how much I would owe, housing information, and exactly what I would need to go there. The letter said I was only accepted if I changed my major and I would have to go through the whole application process again. Truthfully it was kind of a really rude letter... it kind of made it seem like I did something wrong and it was my fault for a program they originally said they had.

I was kind of freaking out after I got this letter, because I had so many plans figured out about where I was going to live, who I was going to live with, and everything. I didn't just wanna bail on all of my plans.. I was really excited for them. So I started looking for a new college.. this one in
Cedar Rapids because I kind of really want to stay in Cedar Rapids for a while. Like part of me wants to just leave Cedar Rapids as soon as I can and start over where no one knows me because part of me is extremely sick of this city and the people I have to deal with everyday. But, the other part of me, which is winning, wants to stay in Cedar Rapids and still be able to see my mom and sister every once in a while because they were all I had while I was growing up.

So, when I was looking for another college to apply to, I realized I had until March 1st, one week, to find a new college. It was so messed up and hectic. I really think that they should have given me more time. I mean my plans were set and they just send me a letter and expect me to figure out a second plan of what I want to do with my life in a week.

So, now I am going to Coe College next year. I got accepted with a $60,000 scholarship that I get over the four years. I'm pretty excited. I heard they have a good accounting program. So, I guess we'll see....

Changes in my blog...

The reason I started this blog is because it's a requirement to have 750 words made up of 3 posts each week. Yeah some weeks I don't write that much, but by the end of the term I have as many posts as I need for the full amount of credit. But, this term I'm going to change my blog in some ways.

One way it will change is last term I was pretty secretive about who I was and everything, but this term I'm going to be more open about who I am and more descriptive about certain places and some people.

I also changed the title of my blog. My last title was not descriptive at all, it was just some random thing I came up with when we were making up the blogs. This title still isn't very descriptive, but this blog seems to mainly be about how my life is changing by moving on from high school to college.

I hope my blog is a little more clear and understandable this term..

Do I like Blogging?

Okay so when we first started this project about blogs in December I thought it was the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. I didn't want to write about my opinion on the internet. I had absolutely nothing to write about and it honestly took me about an hour to even think of something to write about. I hated the project.

The first couple blogs I had trouble with. I didn't know what to write about. I also am never really around a computer outside of school so it was hard to remember to be by a computer to actually write the blogs. I finally started writing about things that was happening in my everyday life. Almost every senior is worried about college and what they should do with their future, so that's one of the main topics I wrote about. I also wrote about high school, my relationships, and my struggles I encountered with them.

After writing numerous blogs I actually found it relaxing just venting on here and writing about whatever I was going through at the time. It became pretty easy for me to come up with topics to write about and I really do enjoy blogging now.

I miss gymnastics

My entire childhood my family kind of struggled with money so I was never able to be apart of any clubs or sports teams. I spent a lot of my time playing outside with my friends around our houses. Ever since I was probably about 5, I think, I wanted to be in gymnastics. In elementary school starting in kindergarten there was always a month out of the school year where they set up gymnastics equipment in the gym and that was our P.E. class. It was so much fun. I loved it and was actually not that bad for being really young.

I told my parents I wanted to be in gymnastics, and my mom listened to me and knew of a place she has taken pictures at for years that she could look at. It was a pretty cheap place; probably the cheapest one in the area, but it was still too much. It took all the way until I was in fifth grade for my mom to have enough money and she finally agreed to let me go.

Normally, girls start in level one and work their way up learning the basics. I started in level 3 and when I competed I actually did really well. I think my first competition I got 4th place. The next year in level 4 I got first! Normally only 12+ girls are allowed to compete at nationals, but because I got first I was allowed to compete. Again, I got first at nationals. It was so much fun!!
I went on the next two years, up until eighth grade, competing the next two levels. It was stressful on my body. I got back problems that I'm still experiencing today and a broken ankle, but it was definitely worth it.

I quit my freshman year of high school. It was a hard decision, but I wanted to be involved in school activities like swimming, diving, and track. I knew gymnastics and everything else would have conflicting schedules, so I chose school activities. Sometimes I regret it because I was good and I enjoyed it a lot, but being in school activities introduced me to a lot of people and it made my high school experience more enjoyable.

PROM :)

So this is my prom dress. I am IN LOVE with it :)

It's way expensive, though. And I feel kind of bad about it costing so much. $490 to be exact with tax and everything. Yeah.. way expensive. My deal with my mom was that if I pay for all the dances besides prom.. like my dress, my hair, my nails, the food, and anything else I wanted... that she would pay for prom. She said my limit for prom was $500 dollars on the dress. I didn't mean to make it so close to 500.

I tried on so many dresses. I knew I wanted a strapless dress because I have never had that before. I also wanted a semi-poofy dress. Not like really big that it bumps into everything, but not tight against my skin.

I'm excited for prom. It's on May 16th. I really want to take this boy with me... I hope I can, but since he got kicked out of school a year ago, he's not totally allowed to go to our schools' events. But, I think if I talk to the administration and be like this is my boyfriend and it's my senior year and the dance isn't even at our school. He should be able to go. I would be Sooo Happy!!

Last Dances..

So WPA is coming up on March 5th. I'm kind of excited. I like dances. Yes, they do get boring eventually while you're there, but thats okay. It's really fun to dress up with your friends and go out to eat with your friends. I bought a pretty cute dress. Its like tan underneath and then it has black lace on the outside. It's really cute. And it was only twelve dollars! That was the best part about it.

My only problem with WPA is my date. I'm seeing this new guy now. He's really sweet and nice to everyone. He does have some of the same qualities of my ex, but he has those extra ones that I always bothered my ex about. It's kind of surprising how close we already are. We've been seeing each other for two weeks now and we've only not seen each other two of those days.

So anyways... He would obviously be the guy I would want to go to WPA with. But, he got kicked out of school about a year ago. I've heard a couple different versions of if he could go or not or if I had to talk to someone about it. I really want him to go, but I really don't have my hopes up that high to believe he will be able to. I'm of course going. It's my senior year, but I wouldn't feel right going with another guy. I don't know... As a friend maybe. Who knows. It's about a month away so I guess I'll see what happens